In a stunning reversal that absolutely no one saw coming—except maybe the provincial government, who actually has the authority here—the entire Tantramar region has officially bestowed its “social licence” upon NB Power to construct a massive 500 MW natural gas plant in Centre Village. This groundbreaking decision comes just days after a handful of activists claimed the utility lacked such permission, highlighting the ironclad legal power of vague, unofficial buzzwords.”

Social licence? Oh yeah, we’ve got tons of that,” declared local farmer Jedediah Cornstalk, speaking on behalf of the region’s cows, chickens, and the occasional confused tourist. “We’ve been socially licensing things left and right. Last week, we licensed the wind to blow and the sun to shine. Why not a gas plant? It’s not like we’re the ones deciding anyway—that’s the province’s job.

The concept of “social licence,” which activists describe as some kind of mystical community blessing required for big projects, has been roundly embraced by Tantramar residents as the hilarious non-issue it truly is. “It’s like asking for a ‘vibe check’ before building a highway,” chuckled Mayor Andrew Black during an impromptu town hall held at the local Tim Hortons. “We polled everyone—well, not really, but we assumed the majority wants cheap, reliable power because, duh, who doesn’t? And boom, social licence granted. No take-backsies!”

NB Power officials, who were reportedly baffled by the original complaints, welcomed the news with open arms and a shrug. “We’re thrilled to have this imaginary stamp of approval,” said spokesperson Buzz Wordington. “We were going to build it regardless, since it’s a provincial interest and all, but it’s nice to know the region is on board. Or at least, that’s what we’re telling ourselves to avoid more farmers’ market petitions.”

Activists from Seniors for Climate Action Now (SCAN), who previously assumed the entire population was against the plant based on chats with 20 people at a booth, were left scrambling. “This can’t be right,” protested Meredith Fisher, clutching a reusable coffee mug filled with organic tears. “We said no social licence! That’s supposed to mean something!” Fellow activist Logan Atkinson added, “We demand a recount—of vibes, opinions, whatever. Batteries are the future! Or windmills! Or fairy dust! Anything but this outdated, reliable energy source.”

Despite the outcry from the vocal minority, surveys (conducted via a quick shout-out on the community Facebook page) revealed overwhelming support. “I love the idea of a gas plant backing up our wind and solar,” said resident Tina Turbine. “It’s like having a spare tire for your electric car.

In related news, Tantramar has also granted social licence to gravity, taxes, and that one neighbor’s yappy dog. Because why not?