Tantramar OnionSACKVILLE, NB — In a move that has locals rolling their eyes harder than a Mount Allison student at a 9 a.m. lecture, the Tantramar Town Council has declared that…
Tantramar OnionIn a bold move to combat the looming threat of Trump tariffs and assert Canadian economic superiority, Tantramar Mayor Andrew Black and his council have unveiled a groundbreaking new initiative:…
Tantramar OnionFor her outstanding advocacy for rent controls that tie increases to units rather than tenants, Tantramar MLA Megan Mitton proudly accepted the prestigious Stalin Economic Equity Prize for 2025 from…
Tantramar OnionNew Brunswick has come up with an ingenious method for making more housing available to newcomers and international students. “By increasing property assessments and taxes, allowing NB Power to raise…
Tantramar OnionIn an unprecedented move that could only happen in Tantramar, the Climate Change Advisory Committee (CCAC) has responded to the upcoming opening of Namaste Bistro the new Indian restaurant, with…
Tantramar OnionRetired CBC propagandist Bruce Wark has switched his website from reporting on local Tantramar news to attempting to do satire on international political topics such as President-elect Donald Trump. “Nobody…
Tantramar OnionIn solidarity with the American women who have been shaving their heads in protest of the Trump 2024 presidential election, local Tantramar hairstylists are offering free head shavings to women.…
Tantramar Onion“Even though the government removed children from their parents in the past during the residential school system, it’s okay if the government has to remove them from parents again this…
Tantramar OnionOut of an abundance of caution, the Department Head of the Sociology Department, Fabrizio Antonelli has sent out a memo to all staff that they should get rid of all…
Tantramar OnionMany premiers are complaining about the recent plan to send thousands of asylum seekers to various provinces, including sending 4600 to New Brunswick. Immigration minister Marc Miller has said “There’s…
Tantramar OnionSimilar to the calls for Spain to end their annual “Running of the Bulls” event due to its cruelty to animals, the Tantramar council is reportedly considering ending Mount Allison’s…
Tantramar OnionThe Tantramar Council has decided to follow the Springhill, Nova Scotia example of dissolving their town due to the overwhelming amount of infighting and public complaints. “It’s just not worth…
Tantramar OnionNDP MLA Candidate Evelyne Godfrey, formerly a UK Labour Party Member, has proposed a ban on showers, hairdryers and combs in order to combat climate change. “Showers involve hot water…
Tantramar OnionRecently both the Sackville Food Bank and Greater Dorchester Moving Forward Co-op have complained about some residents who were either doing their full grocery shopping there, who weren’t from the…
Tantramar OnionWith the anticipated passing of Bill C-63 known as the Online Harms Act, the lack of capacity at the Dorchester penitentiary is a serious concern. “Our prison is pretty much…
Tantramar OnionIsabelle LeBlanc, Director of Communications at Mount Allison University said that students and faculty are in mourning after the killing of Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh. “We honour his sacrifice by…
Tantramar OnionTantramar residents were initially excited to hear that the Sackville Memorial Hospital was getting a new doctor even after hearing it was an AI doctor. They even learned that wait…
Tantramar OnionOn July 6th Michael Landry, owner of the Tantramar Community Concerns Facebook Group, changed the platform from a community page to a debate/forum style page and changed the name to the…
Tantramar OnionNewcomers to the area have been flooding the Mount Allison University phone lines with accusations of racism after hearing that Mount Allison has a course that is critical of settlers…
Tantramar Onion“I’m sorry for calling for a ceasefire in the Sudan instead of Gaza. We’re supposed to be targeting the Jews…oops I mean Zionists,” Christiana MacDougall told our Onion reporter recently.…
Tantramar OnionDue to the increasing workload of government officials around the topic of menstruation, the Tantramar council has unanimously approved of a new Menstruation coordinator. “With the calls for menstrual products…
Tantramar OnionThe Hamas leader, Yahya Sinwar, has recently put out a statement condemning Sarah Kardash, academic advisor of Mount Allison University for not having an encampment to protest the Israeli response…
Tantramar Onion“There’s no way we can track all the plastic pipe we produce, not to mention all the plastic waste during the manufacturing process,” said Mike Wilson, owner of Atlantic Industries…
Tantramar OnionWith the recent arson wildfires in BC, Alberta, last year’s arson wildfires in Quebec and other provinces, the summer of 2024 is shaping up to be another season of increased…
Tantramar OnionThe Sackville Jewish community has started a GoFundMe for the Sackville Ceasefire Now group. It may be surprising to some that the Ceasefire group includes pro-Hamas Marxist Jews. The funds…
Tantramar OnionIn a landmark decision, the Tantramar council has decided to give their homes and land back to the Mi’gmaq Indigenous Peoples. One of our Onion reporters recently caught up with…
Tantramar OnionA Tantramar Onion reporter caught up with local former CBC journalist/activist Joe yesterday. “Woke journalism/activism sadly isn’t bringing in the ad revenue that it used to. So a lot of…
Tantramar Onion“Everyone knows it is those darn unvaccinated that are causing climate change, so I don’t know why everyone is mad at me for the carbon tax increase. They should be…
Tantramar OnionA Mount Allison mob of students run by Sarah Kardash had a confused looked on their face when Mayor Black told them that they weren’t allowed to interrupt a council…
Tantramar OnionThe Tantramar Council has voted to introduce an EV charging tax to ensure what they call ‘road fairness.” Drivers who use gas-powered vehicles pay a fuel tax which helps pay…
Tantramar OnionKaren Bamford, President of the Mount Allison Faculty Association (MAFA) has finally issued a formal apology to Professor Rima Azar for her suspension without pay back in 2021 for saying…
Tantramar OnionMP Dominic LeBlanc is extremely upset because he is getting personally sued after his government’s unlawful and unconstitutional use of the Emergencies Act. “This lawsuit is going cost me millions,…
Tantramar Onion“Our hospital is just overwhelmed by the number of new patients” said nurse Debbie. They are all coming in clutching their chest holding their property tax bills.” When patient Ethyl…
Tantramar OnionIt has recently come to light that Xiangguo Qiu, a scientist at the Winnipeg Microbiology Lab was communicating with the Chinese government and was also providing materials without Trudeau’s government…
Tantramar OnionThe ghosts have finally decided to move out of the Dorchester Jail citing constant disruptions from Bill Steele’s paranormal groups. One of the local ghost said “This used to be…
Tantramar OnionPatients showed up at the Sackville emergency room only to be confronted with a big red sign that said, “Closed Indefinitely”. Puzzled by the sudden closure, a local Onion reporter…
Tantramar OnionSarah Kardash, Associate Registrar at Mount Allison University has vowed to stop eating bagels, which are typically made by Jews. “Some people are doing hunger strikes, some are boycotting Jewish…
Tantramar Onion“After multiple requests by the Mount Allision Faculty Association (MAFA) to get involved in Middle East politics, we realized we were focusing too much on roads and local water/sewer issues.”,…
Tantramar OnionMount Allison faculty and students have been having trouble around Tantramar determining who is and who isn’t a Zionist so that they can tell them they want a ceasefire and…
