In a landmark decision, the Tantramar council has decided to give their homes and land back to the Mi’gmaq Indigenous Peoples.

One of our Onion reporters recently caught up with councillor Mike Tower. “Not giving our homes and land which we always say is on unceded and unsurrendered Mi’gmaq territory would be hypocritical. We basically got tired of empty virtual signalling via the land acknowledgments before every meeting,” Mr. Tower said. “Plus there’s that big Mi’gmaq billboard on the side of the Transcanada highway telling us we’re basically on stolen land that I see almost every day when I drive by it. And the sign also says that we should get vaccinated. I just couldn’t live with the guilt anymore.”

“We encourage all Tantramar residents to give their land back to the Mi’gmaq. We should also probably go back where we came from”, said councillor Wiggins. “I was born here but I guess we can all figure something out.”