In an unprecedented move that could only happen in Tantramar, the Climate Change Advisory Committee (CCAC) has responded to the upcoming opening of Namaste Bistro the new Indian restaurant, with a culinary and medical mandate, as part of their ‘No More Hot Air’ initiative.

“Due to the anticipated spike in methane emissions from our citizens enjoying their biryani and butter chicken, we’ve decided to recommend drastic action,” announced the CCAC at an emergency town meeting. “Once the restaurant is open, all residents should be required to receive the Methane Mitigation Vaccine, or MMV, and consume curried additives with every meal.”

The ‘Methane Mitigation Vaccine’, developed in a lab that previously focused on reducing cow emissions, aims to “vaccinate the gut” against methane-producing bacteria. “It’s like a flu shot for your intestines,” explained Dr. Flora Fartsworth, the project’s lead scientist. “Only, instead of preventing the flu, it prevents… well, you know. Also, to make is super convenient for residents, we plan to combine it with the annual flu and Covid vaccine.”

Meanwhile, the CCAC wants to mandate that local food producers add a “curry compound” to all consumables. “This compound, derived from the least spicy part of the spiciest chili, is said to neutralize methane at the source,” said the CCAC representative. This acts similar to 3-NOP used to reduce cow methane.

Local reactions have varied. “I thought moving to Tantramar was about escaping the big city madness,” said one resident, Barry Burper, now contemplating his dietary future. “Now I’ll have to get vaccinated for my lunch?”

Janet Jingle, a local yoga instructor, viewed it more positively, “If it means I can enjoy my naan guilt-free, I’m all for it. Plus, think of the community spirit – we’ll all be farting less, together.”

Critics argue that the council might have gone too far, with one local activist stating, “From idling cars to idling intestines, when will the madness stop?”

Residents are also very concerned about rumours that a new “Freedom to Fart Rally” is planned for this summer, after last year’s Freedom Rally controversy.

As the opening of the Namaste Bistro approaches, residents are preparing for a new era of dining where the side effects might just be as interesting as the main course. Will this be the future of eating in Tantramar? Only time, and perhaps a few less burps, will tell.