For her outstanding advocacy for rent controls that tie increases to units rather than tenants, Tantramar MLA Megan Mitton proudly accepted the prestigious Stalin Economic Equity Prize for 2025 from The Society for the Advancement of Central Planning and Economic Uniformity (SACP-EU). “I’m honored to receive this award,” Mitton declared at the ceremony, “as it affirms our commitment to true economic justice and fairness in New Brunswick.”

Megan took the opportunity to expand her vision for a more centrally controlled economy. “If we’re capping what landlords can charge, shouldn’t we also limit how much food, housing and energy costs, or how much money people can make? This worked for Stalin and Mao so why wouldn’t it work here?” she asked rhetorically.

Mitton has now taken her vision of equity to new heights. In a move that would make central planners of old nod in approval, she proposes to apply similar caps across various sectors:

  • Wage Caps for Employees: “Why should salaries increase beyond the rate we’ve set for tenants’ rental increases? It’s only fair that we all feel the same economic pressure for the common good,” Mitton argued.
  • Housing Price Stabilization: “If we’re protecting tenants from rising costs, why not protect homeowners too? A cap on home price increases would ensure that sellers and realtors can’t gouge the home buyers,” she said.
  • Food, and Energy Price Controls: “After we shut down businesses and gave everyone stimmy cheques during Covid, we caused a lot of price inflation. Now we can fix that problem we created by not allowing the price of food and energy to go up anymore than we already caused it to.”

Cory Johnson, President of CUPE Local 1188 was overheard saying, “Our union’s main goal is to get wage increases for our members. If this crap passes, I’ll be out of job! Does anyone need help negotiating the new trade deals with Trump?”

Local councillor Barry Hicks reached out to our Onion reporter for comment saying, “I don’t know if I like this idea. Many of us became councillors to make some money as there are no jobs around here. I was kinda hoping we’d be voting to give ourselves a pretty good raise soon.”