The Hamas leader, Yahya Sinwar, has recently put out a statement condemning Sarah Kardash, academic advisor of Mount Allison University for not having an encampment to protest the Israeli response to the horrible attack on civilians on October 7, 2023. “All the other woke universities in the West have encampments that the Marxist students have set up to protest the existence of Jews, capitalism and settler colonialism. It is too much to ask to have the wokest Canadian university set up a similar encampment?”

“I knew she was Jewish but I didn’t think she was a Zionist!”, Sinwar added.

Kardash responded to Sinwar via one of our Onion reporters saying, “I already gave up bagels, and asked the town council to write a letter to the Justin Trudeau asking for a ceasefire. What more do these people want?”